Journal Day 4/National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Happy Friday! The regularly scheduled “Friday Favorite” will return next week.

Today continues a look back at my journey navigating recovery from anorexia. If you missed the first few entries, feel free to go back and read day 1, day 2, and day 3. I’ll do mostly summarizing from here on out otherwise this week-long share session will turn into weeks long. I don’t have many pictures since these weren’t exactly picture-taking circumstances.

We left off yesterday with my first full day of hospitalization. I ended up being on the medical floor for five days. After that, I was still too ill to go home, but not so ill that I needed to be on a heart rate monitor all day, so they moved me to, as I described in my journal, “a special area with kids with a variety of problems” (aka the adolescent psych unit). What I found there were kids who welcomed me from the start and didn’t judge me for what I was going through.

There was another person on the unit with anorexia. A teenage guy. I still remember him so clearly. He was tall and the skinniest person I had ever seen. As terrible as it sounds, all I could think of when I looked at him were the pictures I had seen of concentration camp survivors. I couldn’t understand how he could do that to himself and why he would want to look skeletal (pot/kettle much?). I still think of him from time to time and wonder how he is.

Even on the psych unit I was still on bed rest for part of the first few days. They put a cot out in the hallway so they could keep an eye on me and so kids would come over and hang out with me. One of the worst parts was having to go to the bathroom in front of one of the counselors so they knew you weren’t purging. They turned their back or left the door cracked, but it was still an exercise in humility. The entire experience was, in fact.

Although still a bit delusional about the seriousness of my condition (despite being scared of dying while on the medical floor, I started doing crunches in my bed at night while in the unit), I started to feel much happier. Being around people who had other issues and were learning to deal with them was extremely helpful. It wasn’t until I had been in the hospital for a week that I was finally off bedrest. I remember being so excited that I skipped down the hallway, which one of the counselors quickly told me was a no-no (it was seen as exercise for me, which was completely off-limits).

I was hospitalized for a total of sixteen days. Once I was discharged from the hospital,  I attended a day program. My parents worked really hard to find a place that would allow vegetarians and the only one they were able to find was well over an hour from our house. One of them drove me there, then went to work (sometimes an hour in the other direction), and then picked me up and drove me home every day for about a month (until school started). That’s the kind of sacrifice they made for me, on top of what they had already done. I am forever grateful to them for doing everything in their power to aid in my recovery.

Lake August 1996 with family and friends

During day treatment

The day program was different because I was in a teen group part of the day and in an eating disorder group the rest of the day. I was the youngest one in the eating disorder group. Seeing adults deal with eating disorders was disturbing to me. I thought adults were supposed to have it together. I did not want to still be dealing with anorexia when I was an adult!

The day program facility also increased my calorie intake from 2750 to 3300 calories/day. That would be hard for me now when I have a good appetite! I still remember that my morning and afternoon snacks would be a giant muffin, plus a Carnation Instant Breakfast if I didn’t gain weight. Do you know how filling that is? Healthy too, right (note the sarcasm)? I know they had to get as many calories into me as possible in order to gain weight, but I wish I had had the option of a protein shake instead of empty carbs. Even now that doesn’t seem to be the healthiest way to put on weight. I do hope they do things differently now.

Despite the ups and down of the past month, I finally had a small break-through while I was at the day program. I’ll let 13 year-old Stephanie tell you herself:

Journal entry Aug 1996

(Marks made by my nutritionist)

This definitely seemed to be a bit of a turning point. While the rest of the summer wasn’t easy-breezy, it seemed my mindset had shifted a bit.

Stay tuned for Monday’s post, which will be a wrap-up of this week. I realize it’s no longer National Eating Disorders Awareness Week next week, but I obviously underestimated the amount of material to cover in only four days!

Thanks for following along this week. I know it’s been a bit of a departure from my regular subjects, but it is something important to me and something that has made me who I am today. If I can reach out to one person or pull back the curtain of this awful disease, it’s all worth it.

Please feel free to leave comments or questions! Have a great weekend!

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Journal Day 3/National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Good morning! If you’re just joining in, feel free to start reading here or you can back up and check out day 1 and day 2.

Leaving off from yesterday, I was going deeper and deeper into a downward spiral. I realized I wasn’t happy and that my thought process wasn’t normal, but was too deep in it to get myself out.  Over the next few weeks my thoughts continued to be with consumed with food and exercise and the fear that if I didn’t keep exercising constantly I would gain weight. I was miserable at night after supper because I couldn’t exercise as much after. I couldn’t sit still, I always had to be moving even once I was done working out for the day. I felt like I still needed to get in that one last crunch. I continued to lose weight despite seeing a nutritionist, therapist and my doctor.

School ended and so did the thing that took up a good part of my day and energy. Without that, things went downhill even more quickly.

Last day of school

Last day of school 1996

6/30/96

I am really frustrated. Because my blood pressure and heart rate are so low, I can’t do diving team. [My nutritionist] is hinting that I need to gain a few pounds and that is a really awful feeling, to have lost a lot of weight and then someone comes along & tells you to gain some.

Until now I’m just discovering how sick I am. My period stopped which really freaked me out and I’m starting to look sickly. Circles around my eyes, some bones sticking out, a tired-dead look about my face. It’s scary.

Each day is such a battle for me. And by the end of the day, I just want it over with so I can start a new day and try to do better at it.

Diving team 1996

7/12/96

Today I was admitted to the hospital. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing this afternoon. I still feel like this is all my fault but I couldn’t control it so how could it be? What am I doing to myself & why?

They are really strict here. Tomorrow they’re going to start me on a 1500 calorie diet (wow!) and increase it 250 calories every day. This is very overwhelming and I don’t know how I’m going to do with it. But I’m going to try hard and get better so I can get on with my life.

Boston Children's Hospital front entrance

7/13/96

Day one in the hospital. Last night, three doctors came in to ask me questions and do a thorough examination. Before I went to bed, they had me drink 2 glasses of orange juice (it was that or the IV) because my tests said I was dehydrated.

I just finished breakfast and I feel yucky. I want to get up, do something, work off all of the fat loaded on my plate. But another part reminds me I want to get better and soon! So, I’m not going to argue. I’m going to do everything they tell me. I can’t get up until 12-that is if my heart rate is up. Now I have to stay in bed.

I was so scared last night. They have me hooked up to a heart monitor at night and every time it went off, it just freaked me out. It made me realize how sick I am, even thought I may still feel fat. After it went off a few times, and I was really scared, I just prayed.

I didn’t fall asleep until 4:30 AM and slept until about seven. When I woke up, I had to go to the bathroom wicked bad (because of the OJ). So, I waited awhile and started to feel sick, nauseous. But, I waited because they want you to go to the bathroom before you get weighed, at 8:15

Finally, 8:15 came and they did my vital signs, let me go to the bathroom (actually, the bedside chair-thing I hate) and weighed me.

-I’m really happy! At 6:30 a nurse came in and told me my vital signs were good enough so that I could get up, walk around a little and use the bathroom! I know I’m still sick but this is a step in the right direction.

Just now I’m realizing that the body I want – the one I’ve been trying to get – isn’t one of a typical 13-year old girl. It’s the one of a bodybuilder that has all day to worry about their bodies and nutrition – that’s their job. Plus, they probably take steroids and they’re not normal people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Modern-day Stephanie writing now. I threw in that last paragraph for comic relief. I didn’t want to be a bodybuilder so I don’t know why I put that. I think I meant I wanted to look like a fitness instructor. And the fact that I assumed they took steroids and they’re not normal? Don’t think I wrote that to make myself laugh 28 years later.

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave comments or questions. I love hearing what’s on your mind!

Journal Day 2/National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Continued from day 1.

These next entries pick up less than two weeks after yesterday’s last entry. They take place over the course of a week. I wrote in my journal every day at this point, sometimes multiple times a day. I had started working with a nutritionist once my parents suspected something was wrong and she encouraged me to write as much as I wanted and we could talk about what I wrote. I can’t believe how deep I was in it and how every day seemed worse, even over the course of a week! Photos get very sparse from this time through the end of the summer.

6/5/96

This is a really hard time for me. I’m practically anorexic but my nutritionist caught it before it could get worse. Nobody understands how hard it its. Everyone’s always like “eat, eat!” but I can’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m all messed up on the inside! My grades aren’t suffering from this, luckily.

My friends aren’t too crazy about me losing all of this weight, like I’m a threat to them now that I finally have a good body too. They think I’m anorexic, like that’s the only way I could possibly have lost this much weight. It really hurts me when Nicole calls me [anorexic]. Yesterday she made a slide remark, something like “Well are you going to go throw up now?” It hurts me a lot!

This month’s been a hard one with friends. I don’t feel like I can really talk to any of them.

June 1996 outside school

6/10/96

Today wasn’t really a great day. For some reason, they (friends) ignored me and well, I honestly felt like they treated me like shit (please, excuse the language but it’s the truth). My life is really a mess, not school-work wise but my emotions and feelings. Well, I have to go & do my homework but if I have time, I’ll write again.

-I just ate supper, what I’m supposed to, and I feel really yucky & fat. I feel like I’m going to gain weight, that people can already tell the difference. Well, I’m off to basketball practice now and I’m going to burn off all that fat and calories.

-I hate this! I barely even broke a sweat at my 2-hour practice. I barely got any exercise today and I feel so fat! This is so frustrating. All I can think about is gaining back the weight, letting the fat sit there instead of being burned. I know one day really won’t make a difference but that’s the way it seems to me!

6/14/96

It’s hard, everywhere you go you see these images of what, in my head, you have to live up to. And, every time I start to feel comfortable with my body again – wham – I see something that tells me, “No, you should be thinner.”

Even though everyone keeps paying me compliments and say I look alright, I still feel fat. This is so hard! I used to be so happy, carefree, bubbly and now I’m just, well, I feel almost like a burden. I can remember I could not wait to eat, it would always give me pleasure.

What happened to me? I am a mess! I’m glum, isolated, unhappy, all the things I never thought I’d be. How can I do this to myself, you ask. But the answer is – I don’t know why! It’s a fear, I think, of gaining back the weight. But, what about the happiness? In the last few days I realize how much I’m really missing it.

I wish I could just be normal & toned, not have to think about exercise, eating, all of that stuff. I think I’ve actually made my family more miserable. I think this because every time I see one of my family members (which doesn’t seem too often because I’m isolating myself more & more) I’m only fighting with them.

This is so unbelievably hard & frustrating (I need to extend my vocab, I know). I never thought it would be like this. I thought that after I lost the weight I’d be even happier, but I’m actually miserable.

The littlest things can remind me of weight, I need to exercise, I have to (unfortunately) eat. Reading a book, doing a math problem, music, my locker. Strange, weird little things in them hint that I need to do something about the way I look, now! I know that sounds weird and twisted, but that’s how I think, my brain thinks.

Stay tuned tomorrow. As always, I welcome comments and questions! Thanks for stopping by!

Journal Day 1/National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

I opened up my journals last night after not having seem them for many years. It was sad to see me go from being excited and proud about losing weight, to someone whose thoughts were consumed with losing weight. The girl who was writing absolutely broke my heart. I wished I could reach out to her and shake her, to tell her it’s not about the weight loss, but about being happy in your own skin and owning who you are.

Today I have chosen some journal entries that show the quick transition over a few months from healthy weight loss to losing too much weight. I’ve chosen mostly excerpts, not entire journal entries, and they are completely unedited in order to capture the voice of a rambling teenager. Each entry is proceeded with a photo (if I can find one) from around the time of the entry.

3/7/96

I have so much to catch up on! First of all, now I’m 13. I’ve been it for more than a month. Second of all, I have lost practically 10 pounds and I am really happy. I still could lose another 10 pounds but my doctor said I’m doing really good.

March 1996 Hillie rally

5/4/96

Yes, I know it’s been awhile but I am so happy. I have lost almost 15 lbs – seriously! I just tried on my bathing suits and I look awesome! So much better than last year! I still have a few pounds to go and get so more muscle on my stomach & back/arms, but I can do it! I just have one tiny lump on my tummy but that’s going bye-bye! I have to go now and finish some homework, okay?

P.S. I’ve done all 3 of my goals! 1. loose weight 2. become vegetarian 3. get rid of my zits. THANK YOU GOD!

Trust walk rope April/May 1996

5/24/96

I was sooooo happy yesterday. I was in health when Zara called me. I walked over to her and Lisa and Sarah. They were all like, “Did you loose weight?” “You look awesome!” “You look so skinny!” I bet you I was blushing wicked bad. All I could say was “yea” & “thank-you very much!” I was really happy I almost cried.

I got a lot of compliments yesterday because I wore my tight white sleeveless shirt & khakis, it must look good on me. I am just sooo proud and happy about losing so much weight. According to our scale I weigh 115 lbs. I think it’s 3 lbs off (118). Now all I really need to do is tone my stomach & sides & back mainly. My stomach has a tiny, microscopic lump, the last one and I need to get rid of it. My whole family’s convinced I’m anorexic or something (I’m not!). That’s all mom & I talk about lately, food, exercise, losing weight, etc.

I can’t wait to see Jeremy again, not because I like him (I don’t currently like anyone) but I want to show off all of the weight I’ve lost.

End of May 1996 Girl Scout ceremony

Stay tuned for Day 2 tomorrow…

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, a campaign that is near and dear to my heart as you may know.

NEDA week logo 2014

This year’s theme is “Everybody Knows Somebody” and if you read my blog, then you certainly do (yours truly). As part of the awareness week, NEDA asks that everyone do just one thing to help raise awareness and provide accurate information about eating disorders.

What could you do? According to NEDA, you could, “Distribute info pamphlets and put up posters, write a letter for Media Watchdogs, register as a volunteer speaker or host a volunteer speaker, post information on Facebook or arrange interactive and educational activities…These events and activities are vital to attracting public media attention – on local, national and international levels. ”

NEDA logo

To lend my support, I will be doing something that I do for work, except I will be on the other end of it: I will be enrolling in a study looking at the genetics of eating disorders. I will also be recruiting family members as far out as possible to get the most genetic information. I found out about the study after contacting the physician who had recently published his research in genetics and eating disorders.

I would also like to share some of my journal entries from the times I was the deepest in it, to show you how awful the reality of anorexia is and how grateful I am to no longer be in its grasp. Instead of my usual M/W/F schedule, I plan to post an excerpt every day. I hope you’ll follow along!

NEDA women

Questions: Do you know or have you known anyone with an eating disorder or disordered eating? Did you try to reach out to help? Have you struggled with an eating disorder or disordered eating yourself (if you feel comfortable sharing)?

Friday Favorite: Jillian Michaels

Anyone who knows me even a little knows how much I adore Jillian Michaels. To start, while I don’t believe that much in astrology, we are both Aquariuses (is that a word?), and I have found we have very similar personalities. I like to think we’re kindred spirits. (Does that sound creepy? Or creeper-ish? Or obsessed? I really don’t mean it to!)

Yogurt parfait in Jillian Michaels mug

Just my usual yogurt parfait

She’s the first person in my life, other than family and friends, who has really inspired me. I realize she’s only human and thus is not perfect. I don’t always agree with everything she does or says, but for the most part, she gets it right.

Jillian Michaels pic

It was Jillian Michaels who first got through to me over two years ago. My mom had given me her 30 Day Shred DVD because the moves were too hard on her knees. I had never watched the Biggest Loser (and in fact, thought it was kind of a stupid show), so I dismissed it at first. What did this woman really know? Wasn’t she only famous for being on TV? She couldn’t be a real trainer.

C/o Flickr/winningman

One day, I finally gave it a chance and it whipped my butt. I was so sore that I didn’t try it again for another couple of weeks. Then I kept doing it and kept doing it and for the first time in a long time, I felt empowered and proud by what I could accomplish. Exercises that had left me sore were no longer touching me. I was moving through the levels, always striving to keep up with the advanced moves.

C/o Flickr/csztova

But it wasn’t purely the workouts that got through to me; it was what Jillian was saying throughout the DVDs. Most home workouts I had tried were too easy on people. “Oh, just take a rest if you’re tired” type of thing. Don’t get me wrong–if you absolutely, and I mean absolutely, cannot go on, you should take a quick (5 second) break. But you need to keep going.

For example, from the start of 30 Day Shred Jillian sets your right:

Jumping jack Jillian Michaels

I love that she keeps it real. She doesn’t tell you it’s going to be easy. It’s not!

Take the stairs Jillian Michaels quote

But if you work hard, you can do it! Just be willing to work hard.

Phoning it in Jillian Michaels

I’ve since acquired many of her DVDs and have a blast trying her new workouts.

Collection of Jillian Michaels DVDs

My personal favorites are Killer Abs and, the original one that started it all, 30 Day Shred. I’ve talked to so many people who think they need to be at the gym on a piece of cardio equiptment for hours to burn as many calories as possible. I promise, you don’t! I saw serious changes in my body doing these DVDs. I never knew I could have toned abs and arms! Granted, you have to be smart about the way you eat because you can out-eat all of your hard work.

Jillian Michaels podcast

I also thoroughly enjoy listening to her podcasts while I run. Not only does it help my pacing, but I learn all kinds of interesting things. In fact, if you want to know the real Jillian, instead of the one the media likes to portray, listen to it. She has so many wonderful segments not only on health, fitness, and nutrition, but also on life in general. You can tell that she genuinely just wants to help people be the best versions of themselves.

And that’s the crazy thing about her influence on me (or rather, what putting in the hard work did): it manifested itself into all other aspects of my life. Suddenly I was more motivated to be better at everything and go after what I wanted! My physical achievements gave me the confidence to want to achieve more: change my job, go after that nursing degree, break out of my comfort zone.

So I obviously had to see her on her Maximize Your Life tour last year. And she’s going on tour again if you want to catch her this time around!

Jillian Michaels tour

Okay, I think I’ve gone on enough about her. WHH is probably shaking his head reading this. He’s the lucky one that always gets to hear, “So, Jillian Michaels says…”

Questions: Do you have anyone who’s inspired you to be better? What do you think of Jillian (I promise I won’t bite if you say something negative. I can take it.)?

Quick Tip: Eat Every (3-)4 Hours

Happy hump day!

Today’s quick tip was a tipping point in my weight loss and general whole health. I’m sure you’ve all heard that we should be grazers, eating small meals frequently to keep our metabolisms humming. It seems to make great sense on the surface and I abided by this rule for a very long time, but it got me nowhere.

Eternal clock

c/o Robbert van der Steeg/Flickr

Then one day, while out for a run, during which I usually listen to a Jillian Michaels podcast, JM was doing a segment on dispelling common weight-loss myths. That’s when I heard her say we should only eat every four hours.

Why?

Eating around the clock prevents your body from burning fat. Whenever you eat, you release insulin. When you release insulin, your body is storing sugar instead of letting other enzymes in your body release sugar to break down fat. So instead of using your energy stores (and thus, fat), you’re using your most recent snack.

I’ve found that this not only increased my fat burn, but it made it easier for me to track my food. When you’re only eating four times a day, you know what you’re eating and when and also tend to eat more balanced meals. I also noticed that eating a bit more at each sitting has left me more satisfied. My original plan of eating every two hours left me even more hungry than when I started eating my snack!

Eat every 3-4 hours

A typical day for me consists of four meals about four hours apart: breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. I start around 6:30 AM with breakfast. Though I’ve been experimenting with my usual yogurt parfait, I have to say that this has the best staying power.

Pumpkin yogurt parfait

Lunch is around 11:00 AM. I realize this is beyond the usual four hours, but I generally find it easy to keep myself distracted at work for the extra half hour. No one wants to eat lunch at 10:30 AM (plus, if I need to grab some extras for my lunch at my work caf, they don’t open until then!).

Salad for lunch

Next is my snack around 2:30 PM. Now this is obviously not four hours after my lunch, but I go with my body cues on this one. Sometimes it’s 2:15 PM and sometimes it’s closer to 3:00 PM. Closer to 3:00 PM is perfect timing as I often work out right after work, starting around 4:15 PM. This way my snack doubles up as energy for my workout.

Peanut butter and apple snack

Dinner times vary. We’ll eat anywhere between 5:30 PM and 7:00 PM depending on how long it takes to get dinner together and what else is going on that day.The later time is a bit better as it is closer to the four-hour mark. I definitely don’t obsess over it, which is why I say eat every 3-4 hours, with four hours being a bit more ideal.

Stuffed peppers with spinach

Dinner ends with little treat in the form of a smallish piece of one of these babies. Dark chocolate is my go-to dessert most days. Antioxidants and delicious!

Chocolate choices

My weekends tend to be less structred and I sometimes end up eating every two hours (and notice a difference in my hunger when I do–I feel like I’m hungry all weekend sometimes!).

Please keep in mind that this is not meant to be a hard a fast rule, but rather guidance on “best practice” as we say in healthcare. This is what I have found works for me and you need to find what works for you. 🙂

Questions: Do you agree or disagree with this? How often do you eat? Are you structured most of the time or wing it most days?

Day Off

Today I’m enjoying the President’s Day holiday with WHH, getting to some items on the to-do list and tackling some reading and the lab for my A&P course. I’ll return to my regular blogging on Wednesday. In the meantime, I’ve shared some pictures from the past week below. Do you have today off? Are you doing anything special or spending it relaxing?

My bun distracting me while I’m trying to study.

Bun distracting me

In the midst of the storm.

In the midst of the storm

Found this on the couch Friday night.

Valentine's Day surprise

Backyard looking like a lumpy mattress.

Backyard lump mattress

Cozying-up while studying with homemade mocha (half coffee, half dark chocolate hot chocolate) and fuzzy blanket.

Cozying up while studying

Friday Favorite: My Glute Workout on Empower

I’m so excited that it’s Friday of a long weekend! Do you have Monday off as well?

Did all of you east coasters get as much snow as us? We got pounded for the past 24 hours, adding an additional ~10″ on top of the 10″ we already had on the ground. We’re getting another 3-6″ tomorrow! No idea where it’s going to go! Such is February in Massachusetts. 🙂

Snow shoveling 2-13-14

Spied WHH shoveling our neighbor’s walkway. He’s the best.

I’m also really excited today because I’m sharing my go-to glute workout on Empower’s blog.  Check it out here!

Empower glute workout

This strength program has helped not only to rehab from my glute injuries, but has given me a stronger lower body and–BONUS!–more shapely legs and glutes! You can do the workout in the comfort of your own home as I have shown, or at the gym.

I’ve added in some upper body for super sets and core work in between some sets, so while the emphasis is on the glutes, it’s still a near total-body workout! Plus, since you don’t stop moving the entire time, you’re burning max calories for a strength day. You could also add some cardio bursts between moves, such as jumping jacks, high knees, shadow boxing, jump rope, etc., for an additional calorie burn.

Clamshell for glutes and hips

Though this workout is great for everyone, it’s especially important for us runners, as it focuses on glute moves with hip extension, two places that runners tend to be weak. I have noticed that I now have better firing of my glutes while running.

One legged bridge

I’d love to hear if you give this a try and what you think of it! Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend!

On Not Getting Along with My Body

This may seem a bit lit a whiney post, but I don’t mean it to be. It’s meant to discuss the mental and physical struggles of injury. Blog posts like this helped me through previous injuries to make me feel like I wasn’t alone in my frustrations. I would like to open an honest dialogue about ways to cope with the ups and downs of injury. So, without further ado…

I’ve come to my wit’s end with my body yet again. The first time was last year, for the majority of the year. My body and I been on a decent roll since September, with better communication and more understanding, but then when January hit, we were back in a slump.

Graston and ART for tennis elbow bruises

I feel like I’m in a bad relationship. I want to do things, but my body won’t let me, and I can’t understand why. Sometimes I give it the silent treatment, and sometimes it gets the mad, frustrated version of me. Other times I feel teary-eyed and hopeless. We have just had a year of not getting along.

What’s causing our current rift? After trying six sessions of combined therapeutic modalities (ART, Graston, laser, and ultrasound) for my tennis elbow, not only have I failed to get any better, I feel I’ve actually gotten worse. My chiropractor discharged me from treatment on Monday. He was bummed not only for me, but because I am the first patient with tennis elbow he’s been unable to help.

Tennis elbow bicep bruising

We discussed what my next steps should be. I’ll be getting the MRI that my orthopedist had ordered back in the summer (but didn’t get because I was dealing with my other injury that was much worse than my elbow at the time). The last time I saw my orthopedist in June he offered me MRI, an oral steroid taper (no thanks!), and occupational therapy. My chiropractor mentioned looking into prolotherpy and iontophoresis, so we’ll see what the orthopedist thinks of those. He even suggested taking a week off of work to really rest my arm since I’m at the computer all day (and at night with school and the blog). I’m not quite there yet, since I’d want to save my time in case I need a procedure done. This upcoming 3-day weekend can’t come soon enough, though!

Graston bruising green and purple

I was extra frustrated this past week because my plantar fasciitis started to act up again. Thankfully, I have a more, shall we say, loving approach toward my foot since I understand it a bit better–what helps, what doesn’t, why it might be acting up. I had tried laying off of the KT tape since I didn’t want to become dependent on it and I think that’s what did me in. So I’m easing off the running this week, concentrating on stretching and arch exercises, and putting the tape back on. I’ll start to play with the frequency of the tape once I’m able to run for longer amounts of time. I’m also expecting my new orthotics to come in this week, so I’m hoping that will help, too!

KT tape back on foot for plantar fasciitis

Also adding to my frustration? My other elbow is starting to bother me, possibly because I’ve become so dependent on using my left hand and arm now that my right one (my dominant one!) is out of commission. Even brushing my teeth hurts my injured elbow, so my left arm is getting more than its fair share of work.

I’ve tried changing things up at work to avoid getting an RSI (repetitive stress injury) on my left arm. I’m switching back and forth between my desktop and laptop and that seems to have helped for today. I had done most of my mousing on my left to let my right arm rest, but now I’m switching it back and forth to tolerance. I’m also going to look into getting a trackball mouse. I used one of these a long time ago and really liked it.

I know a big key to getting better is my attitude. The more frustrated I am, the worse the whole process will be. Plus, the more stressed it gets me, the more stress hormones will be coursing through my body, which will only hinder any healing. I need to be more kind to my body, putting out positive vibes and being optimistic about recovery. But it is so, so hard sometimes when you’ve been dealing with pain day after day, from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep.

Okay, I’m done whining for now. Time to have more gratitude for all that I have instead of focusing my energy on things that are wrong. So right now I am thankful that my heal is starting to feel better and that I’ve found ways to cope with (some) of the pain in the interim. Oh, and that Walking Dead is back. 🙂

Questions: Have you ever had an injury that affected your day-to-day life? How did you deal with it? Did you feel like you were in a constant argument with your body? Does pain put you in a sour mood?

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