I opened up my journals last night after not having seem them for many years. It was sad to see me go from being excited and proud about losing weight, to someone whose thoughts were consumed with losing weight. The girl who was writing absolutely broke my heart. I wished I could reach out to her and shake her, to tell her it’s not about the weight loss, but about being happy in your own skin and owning who you are.
Today I have chosen some journal entries that show the quick transition over a few months from healthy weight loss to losing too much weight. I’ve chosen mostly excerpts, not entire journal entries, and they are completely unedited in order to capture the voice of a rambling teenager. Each entry is proceeded with a photo (if I can find one) from around the time of the entry.
I have so much to catch up on! First of all, now I’m 13. I’ve been it for more than a month. Second of all, I have lost practically 10 pounds and I am really happy. I still could lose another 10 pounds but my doctor said I’m doing really good.
Yes, I know it’s been awhile but I am so happy. I have lost almost 15 lbs – seriously! I just tried on my bathing suits and I look awesome! So much better than last year! I still have a few pounds to go and get so more muscle on my stomach & back/arms, but I can do it! I just have one tiny lump on my tummy but that’s going bye-bye! I have to go now and finish some homework, okay?
P.S. I’ve done all 3 of my goals! 1. loose weight 2. become vegetarian 3. get rid of my zits. THANK YOU GOD!
I was sooooo happy yesterday. I was in health when Zara called me. I walked over to her and Lisa and Sarah. They were all like, “Did you loose weight?” “You look awesome!” “You look so skinny!” I bet you I was blushing wicked bad. All I could say was “yea” & “thank-you very much!” I was really happy I almost cried.
I got a lot of compliments yesterday because I wore my tight white sleeveless shirt & khakis, it must look good on me. I am just sooo proud and happy about losing so much weight. According to our scale I weigh 115 lbs. I think it’s 3 lbs off (118). Now all I really need to do is tone my stomach & sides & back mainly. My stomach has a tiny, microscopic lump, the last one and I need to get rid of it. My whole family’s convinced I’m anorexic or something (I’m not!). That’s all mom & I talk about lately, food, exercise, losing weight, etc.
I can’t wait to see Jeremy again, not because I like him (I don’t currently like anyone) but I want to show off all of the weight I’ve lost.
Stay tuned for Day 2 tomorrow…